Dear Saints:
All of our churches have a wonderful opportunity to move forward the national debate around same-sex marriage by observing the second annual National Freedom to Marry Day in our local communities on February 12.
While we experienced setbacks in the last elections in Alaska and Hawaii, we must not rest until the rights of marriage are available under the law to all citizens.
Our UFMCC Headquarters Staff members have worked with the National Freedom to Marry Coalition and Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund to prepare a resource kit for use by local MCC congregations.
The kit below is filled with ideas and suggestions you can use to make a difference in your community, but I especially want to call three items to your attention.
First, I heartily endorse the concept of Interfaith Prayer Breakfasts sponsored by MCC congregations across the nation. The UFMCC Headquarters Staff has prepared a step-by-step guide to planning and hosting such a breakfast. This is a powerful way of building allies in your community and generating major media coverage for your work.
Second, I am pleased to announce what I believe to be a truly historic proposal. The UFMCC Board of Elders has unanimously proposed a change to the UFMCC By-Laws which would make "Holy Union" and "Marriage" fully equal terms. This change, if approved by the upcoming UFMCC General Conference in July of 1999 would impact us in two profound ways:
(1) Never again will anyone view a Holy Union as anything less than marriage.
(2) UFMCC will make a bold statement that we recognize our covenant relationships as marriages in every way.
Third, I encourage you to begin to promote "The Wedding: Now More than Ever." This national event will take place on Saturday, April 29th in front of the Internal Revenue Service Building in Washington, DC -- as part of the Millennium March on Washington for Equality, the first human rights march of the new millennium. This will be the world's largest same-sex marriage commitment ceremony. Information, including advance registration for this historic event, will soon be available on the UFMCC website. I hope many of you will join the more than 5000 couples who will take part in this history-making event.
I heartily commend to you this UFMCC Resource Kit for the Observance of 1999's Freedom to Marry Day.
Troy D. Perry
The Rev. Elder Troy D. Perry
UFMCC Moderator
What
happened in 1998:
In late 1997, the National Freedom
to Marry Coalition declared that February 12, 1998, would be the First Annual National
Freedom to Marry Day. Activists, students, members of the clergy, and non-gay allies
responded energetically and staged over fifty events in 36 communities across the country
to build support for equal marriage rights for lesbian and gay Americans, garnering
television and print coverage in major media markets nationwide.
We chose February 12 for National Freedom to Marry Day to coincide with Lincoln's Birthday
and Valentine's Day two days later, thus emphasizing our themes of Love and Equality.
Before the day itself, national, state, and local partners in the National Freedom to
Marry Coalition laid the groundwork for success by starting conversations with and asking
for support from allies and potential allies outside the gay and lesbian community.
What
we anticipate in 1999:
The National Freedom to Marry Coalition envisions the Second Annual National Freedom to
Marry Day as an opportunity to expand our movement's reach, in terms of both the total
number of events and the extent to which we all reach out beyond our own communities.
For National Freedom to Marry Day 1999, the National Freedom to Marry Coalition hopes
that: a) actions and events will be planned in all 50 states, b) each local action group
or committee will have moved week-by-week between now and then to assemble a broad array
of allies, and c) local groups will reach as broad an audience as possible by securing
coverage in the print, television, and radio media.
What's
happening with the freedom to marry movement:
The election results in Hawaii and Alaska may have prevented our winning the breakthrough
this year, but have not at all stopped our movement--and the breakthrough may still be at
hand within a matter of months. Ours is a long-haul civil rights struggle, not a one-time
political campaign. Like all civil rights struggles, it will require great fortitude and
persistence. Two election defeats won't turn us back, but they can help us focus on what
we need to do most: education and outreach. It takes more than political campaign work to
change hearts and minds. It takes months and years of ongoing personal contact and public
dialogue--exactly the kind of work that building toward and beyond National Freedom to
Marry Day can entail.
Though a breakthrough decision is possible in Vermont and even in Hawaii in 1999, our
recent election losses demonstrate how important it is to be able to defend the victories
we've secured through the courts. This means that our urgent task is to focus our energies
where we can have the most impact: at home.
A critical freedom to marry battle, for example, is facing Californians in just over a
year. Will our movement focus now, build a diverse array of supporters, and help educate
the California electorate over the time available to us about what civil marriage really
means? That's what we have to do in order to move closer to our end goal of full equality.
And that's what needs to happen everywhere, beginning now (without squandering
opportunities), regardless of whether an initiative is on the ballot.
What you can do now:
--Make a year-long, week-by-week
action plan, using National Freedom to Marry Day as the first big public event/target date
of your year's freedom to marry work. Start your coalition building and public education
campaigns now.
--Find 50 allies. Identify 50 nongay or -lesbian leaders, opinion makers, and people of
note in your community or state who might be persuaded to sign the Marriage Resolution or
state publicly their support for full marriage equality for all. Labor leaders. Clergy.
Politicians. Business leaders. Civil rights leaders. Organizations. Local voices. Call
them, write them, and arrange a meeting. (For tips on how, consult groups like Lambda,
GLAAD, or the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task Force--all of whom have websites, materials,
and advice for you).
--Use spokescouples and families to get the message out, both in local media and to local
groups. Write letters to the editors and op-eds (samples are available from Lambda Legal
Defense & Education Fund, PFLAG, and others). Do this before National Freedom to Marry
Day (2/12/99) and on the Day itself.
--Plan your event now and plan it so that it involves as many community partner groups and
ally groups as possible. Don't forget that the media can vastly multiply your potential
audience.
--Host a conference, an interfaith evening of discussion, or a breakfast roundtable about
marriage and its meanings and the immorality of our society excluding an entire class of
people from the protections and safeguards of family law. This should include as many
non-gay potential allies and fence-sitters as possible.
--Each week from now until February 12, reach out to nongay allies in other congregations
in your area and ask them to sign a statement supporting marriage. If they decide they
will not, then ask them to support a statement denouncing the exclusion of lesbian and gay
families and couples from family law. On Freedom to Marry Day, unveil the support you've
gathered at a press conference or a special event. The conversations you start have the
potential to turn the tide in this struggle.
--As soon as you decide you're going to have an event, let Christopher Calhoun of the
Freedom to Marry Coalition know! If you need assistance, call him. If you have any
questions about how to proceed or where to get help, please call. And Christopher will be
glad to add you to their information list to receive regular updates about National
Freedom to Marry Day. You may contact Christopher Calhoun at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian
Center by phone at (323) 860-7352, by fax at (323) 860-7369 or by
e-mail at laftmc@aol.com
Some successful
events from last year included:
-- an interfaith breakfast in support of the freedom to marry
-- a "tying the knot" visibility campaign to communicate the importance
of legal recognition for our family ties
-- a caravan of decked-out "not-married-yet" cars driving through town
-- campus speak-outs, rallies, and lectures
-- a news conference featuring a wedding cake
-- candlelight St. Valentine's communion service recognizing same-sex
couples
-- a potluck dinner, "Celebrating Family"
-- a freedom to marry video night
-- panel discussions and town halls
-- demonstrations at City Halls
--Make sure to let the media and others know you're planning something well in advance. If
you need any tips on how to work with the media, contact GLAAD (212) 807-1700/(202) 986-1360 or Corri Planck, the Media Relations Manager at the L.A. Gay
& Lesbian Center (323) 860-7355.
-- Keep in mind that this is a nationwide day, despite our separate events. That helps
make the story bigger and more likely to attract attention. A national freedom to marry
legal conference is already planned at Harvard University. We're hoping to develop a few
more large "anchor" events as well.
What resources are
available?
Want to know more about the Freedom to Marry, our successes so far, how to engage non-gay
allies and talk about the issues involved? Visit such excellent websites as Lambda Legal http://www.lambdalegal.org , GLAD http://www.glad.org , the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task
Force http://www.VTfreetomarry.org , the
Partners' Task Force http://www.buddybuddy.org ,
HRC at http://www.hrc.org , or the National Freedom to
Marry Coalition http://www.freedomtomarry.org
.
How To Plan And Hold
An Interfaith or Ecumenical Breakfast:
1. As a first step, call three or four gay-friendly clergy in your area. You may wish to
make appointments to sit down and discuss your proposal. Present the idea for a
community-wide interfaith or ecumenical prayer breakfast and roundtable. Ask them
specifically to (1) commit to attend and participate in the event and (2) grant permission
for their names to be used in the promotion of the event.
2. Secure a location. It might be your church's social hall... the facilities of one of
the larger gay-friendly churches in your area... a local community or civic center
space... or a hotel banquet room.
3. Set a specific time for the event. If you elect to hold a breakfast event, you may wish
to make it early enough for people to attend and participate prior to going to work. Or an
evening roundtable event may be more suitable to your location.
4. Once your date, time and location are fixed, send your information to the Freedom to
Marry Coalition by e-mail to laftmc@aol.com
. They will post your information on their websites and help promote your event.
5. Prepare 8.5" x 11" posters or flyers announcing the event, inviting people to
attend. Be sure to include date, time, location, cost (if any), and a phone number to make
reservations. Post these in gay bookstores, distribute to gay-friendly churches, place on
college bulletin boards, post them in GLBT community centers and organizations.
6. If you elect to hold a breakfast event you may wish to:
--(a) see if various participating organizations will provide breakfast foods which your
volunteers can cook and serve,
--(b) invite local supermarkets to donate foods for a tax-deduction,
--(c) see if a local restaurant or caterer will donate breakfast in return for publicity
in the program,
--(d) invite a local businessperson to donate the cost of the breakfast foods,
--(e) charge a modest fee for the breakfast.
7. Make a list of 50 gay-friendly contacts in your community. Labor leaders. Ecumenical
leaders. Civic leaders. Business people. Other clergy members. Leaders of GLBT
organizations. Send each of them a personal letter stating the importance of this event
and asking them to attend. Encourage them to bring their friends and supporters. Provide a
phone number for them to RSVP.
8. Three or four days after mailing the invitations, call -- or have your volunteers call
-- each person who was mailed an invitation. Tell them you wanted to be sure they have
received the invitations, re-emphasize the importance of this justice event and tell them
how much their presence will mean to the success of the event.
9. Send a personal letter of invitation to local political leaders. This could include
city council members, country boards of supervisors members, state legislators, US
Congresspersons and Senators, your state's Governor, Lt. Governor and Attorney General Ask
them to take a stand on behalf of justice for all people by attending the prayer
breakfast. At this point, you will have developed a broad coalition of clergy, civic
leaders, etc. Mention the names of those leaders who will be attending and participating. Key idea: If they are unable to attend, invite them to send a public statement of
support which can be read during the event.
10. Send news releases to local TV stations, radio stations, gay press outlets, local
newspapers and magazines, and the local or regional bureaus of the Associated Press and
United Press International. If a press conference will be part of your event, mention
this. If participants will be available for press interview before and after the event for
one-on-one interviews, mention this. (See
Sample News Release Below.)
11. Contact Lambda or visit their website. They will provide you with talking points and
specific ideas for your breakfast or roundtable.
12. Prepare a printed program -- even a simple one page program. The program might include
the following:
-- An invocation
-- Opening remarks
-- Brief remarks by 3-5 clergypersons or local leaders
-- Remarks by local political leaders
-- One or two "testimonies" by same-sex couples in long-term relationships.
-- You may wish to conclude with an open press conference.
13. Begin on time and end on time.
14. Send follow-up thank you notes to each person who participated.
Sample news release:
DATELINE -- An issue which has generated national debate is drawing significant local
support. The issue is marriage rights for same-sex couples.
On February 12, religious, civic and business leaders will gather at (Location), for a
breakfast roundtable in support of National Freedom to Marry Day. The (Name of Local Area)
event is one of hundreds of similar events scheduled across the US, including a legal
conference at Harvard University, public demonstrations, press conferences, marches, and
roundtable discussions.
"The issue of same-sex marriage rights is a simple matter of justice," said
(name of spokesperson. "We are not seeking special rights, we simply seek equal
rights."
Participants will include (list names and positions here).
The program will include public statements by religious and civic leaders, testimonies by
same-sex couples and a press conference.
The National Freedom to Marry Day event is open to the public. Reservation information is
available by calling (insert phone number). The local event beings at (insert time here).
(Insert Contact Information Here)
